Had this nightmare on 1st July,
dreamt of me carrying darling n strolling along with dear2 when we passed by a blk of flats,
lotsa of ppl crowding there, then heard them say A Guy Sucide... dear2 kaypo wana go over n see but I pull him away... then stroll somemore... reached another blk of Pink flats...
n even more ppl this time saying a girl sucide... I was like "wa y like tt faster go la.."
then suay suay I turn my head, the direction I saw the corpse...
or rather not much of a corpse I think... cause part of her was mashed...
yes.... Its totally gross... n I faster turn away in the dream but a policewomen walk pass right in front of me holding a big plastic bag... N I saw the contents... all bones... blood... mashed... gross...
Woke me up... felt weird as I have nvr seen sucide b4 not to say mashed up body...
y got tt kinda of dream...
was telling my uncle yesterday... n he ask his father for me abt the meaning of the dream...
his father knws abt all these since young, they learn Feng Shui etc...
n he say... the girl in the dream is me... & I must say it out to break it....
Oh man... sounds scary yeah...
dunno leh... last Sat or near cant remember the date,
the bloody fucker as usual came home at night n keep shouting in his room at dear2 mother,
then say wat I dunno how to lok after darling la... say I anyhow lok after her la... etc,
Im damn pissed off lor! n dear2 is at work, Its not the 1st time he say bad things abt me,
no job so wat big fuck? can anyhow scold ppl?
I gave up my job for my girl & god knws how much effort I had use to lok after my girl esp. in her 1st 6mths of life, feeding medicine 3times a day to a baby is not an easy job at all,
plus u got to see her suffer, n after all this, he dare to say im not a good mother where he totally hack care abt darling!
The 1st time I really heard him shouting bad things abt me...
I totally cannot control myself, told dear2 abt it n say,
"if not I carry darling n jump down la, then all ur problems solved & the bloody fucker got nothing more to say abt me"
After tt I got a night mare too,
dreamt of me carrying darling n ppl chasing us till the top of a mountain then this guy snatch darling from me, n threw her down the mountain,
I cry n cry non-stop, then "dua ya pek" asks me
"does ur heart feel very very pain now?"
& I replied... "yes..."
DYP: "then dun say u wana jump with ur child ya...."
OK, after tt dream, I dun dare to say anymore!
cause I really believe in chinese gods.... been thru alot of unexplanationable incidents which made me believe them so much.
then again.... tt day I heard again the fucker saying me...
this time even more bad things... I really cannot take it.... anymore!
I stay at home 24hrs a day, 7 days a week!
maybe i had depression I dunno, but I really really cannot take it,
I wanted to open their door n shout at him but I tolerate.
when dear2 came back, I bursted out.
told him "I jump down better still then tt fucker got nothing more to say abt me"
I knw tt is not a good thought but I just cannot control myself!
who in the right mind would wana jump down from a building???
but at tt point of time, I really had tt thought coming out... & I Cant Control Myself.
luckily dear2 tok to me n encourage me abt our new hse coming etc...
managed to stay cool after tt...
then a few days later I had tt nightmare...
n after hearing wat uncle's dad say abt my dream...
I truly believe tt its once again... 大二爷伯
gave me tt dream... to show me wat is my ending if i really Did That.
to frighten me off my thoughts?
but watever it is... I knw somewhere around they r just around looking after darling n me...
really appreciate ne...
& I hereby swear I will try my best not to have tt thought ever again...
cause its not worthwhile to die for tt fucker idiot.
n I saw wat I will end up to be if i did tt... its really scary... n disgusting... -_- |
